Mary Ethel

Well, there is a lot I could write about tonight. I could give a book review or something on The Catcher in the Rye. I could scan those pictures of the weird things I found at the library and post them. Or I could tell about this odd phone call I got tonight. I’ll go with the phone call, since it’s the freshest thing on my mind.

It was around 6:30, while I was working at the library, that I received this call. Of course, I had my cell phone ringer on silent, but set to buzz. This number showed up on my caller ID: 256-***-***. Okay, it might be illegal to show the actual number on here or something. So, I had to asterisk it out. Anyway, I answered the call and said in a whisper, “Hey, I’ll call you back in a minute.”

The voice on the other end shouted, “Why are you talking like that?”

“I’ll call you back in a minute.” I hung up.

I had no idea who it was. I wouldn’t have normally answered it because it was a number I didn’t recognize. But, for those of you who remember the my recent cell phone death, you know I lost all of my phone numbers. So, I figured it might be someone’s number that I hadn’t talked to in a while. Although, I didn’t recognize the voice.

I found myself a nice little corner on the fourth floor (the floor I work on) and called the number back. I got a voicemail that said, “You’ve reached Mary Watts” and bla bla bla. I don’t remember the whole voicemail. I’m like, Do I know a Mary Watts?

So, I called the number back. “Hello,” came the voice from the other end. This was definitely a dirt-road livin’ Alabamian voice.

“HEY,” I wanted to sound like I knew the person, just in case I was supposed to. And what follows is as accurate as I can portray the conversation.

“How you doin’?” Mary asked.

“Good, good. You?”

“Good.”

I gave no reply. I mean, she was the one who originally called me. There was a few seconds of silence, which could seem like years on the telephone. It’s a device for conversation, ya’ know.

“My name’s Mary.”

“Mary who?”

“Marry Watts. I’m 34 years old.”

“Okay. What I’m getting at here Mary is…is there a particular reason you called me?”

“Oh, I just dialed the wrong number.”

“Okay.” I was being very sarcastic at this point.

“I’m 34 years old and single. I have three kids and I’m not married.”

“Well, I was just calling you back. I thought you might be someone I know.”

“What’s your name?”

“Justin.”

“That’s a pretty name…I have blond hair and blue eyes.”

“Okay. Well—”

“I tell everybody that.”

“I guess I’ll let you—”

“You have a pretty voice.”

Well, that’s pretty much the most interesting part of the conversation before I could get her off the phone without hanging up on her. This woman was hitting on me. Some random, possibly drunken woman, was hitting on me.

Very odd. But, this isn’t the end.

About 45 minutes later, while I was home cooking dinner, the phone rang again. I didn’t even look to see who was calling because, well…I was cooking dinner.

I received a voicemail from the same number, but a different voice.

“Mary Ethel called me and said you been eatin’ her godd**** nasty pussy. So, you gone fuck yo’self nigga. And don’t call my phone no mo’ fagot.”

I have to say I was a little shocked and a little amused. It certainly was an odd phone call. It’s just one of those random things that happen to you in life I guess. There’s not much else to say about it. I guess you can just laugh. It is a bit funny.

I’m even going to add another category for this blog post. I think I’ll call it odd occurences or something.