“They say you can never go home again.”
I was thinking about that quote a couple of weekends ago (I know, I should’ve been blogging since then). I was homesick. It took a couple of weeks, but I felt it. Really, I just didn’t have anything to do. I was sitting around my empty apartment on the weekend, waiting to do nothing. I’m over it now though.
It’s probably common to be a little homesick sometimes. If I only had a few more of my things, it would be easier. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m enjoying Korean culture. There are some things I miss.
- Milk that doesn’t taste like it’s going to be sour tomorrow.
- Good hamburger meat (ground beef).
- Wal-Mart (Even though I hate what they’re doing to the Mom-and-Pop stores, I’m a Wal-Mart addict).
- Oly and Smeagle (my cats).
- Of course, I miss family, but I’m used to not seeing them for months at a time.
- Clothes drier.
- American football.
There are a few other things I miss, but these are the main ones. I really miss football. [insert sad Justin face]
Back to the original quote. I was thinking about that line because I wanted to go home like I’ve never wanted to go home before. Alabama, my home.
I think I have this ideal vision of what home means, but that home doesn’t exist. At least not anymore. I haven’t truly been home (Highland Home, Ala.) in the last five years. It’s definitely a part of me. Much of what or who I am has been shaped by that place. But, I’ve changed since then. That’s why they say you can never go home again—it’s not because home is different; it’s because you’re different.
A different person. Home is that place as you remember it. Home is a memory. Memories are in the past and will forever be there.
Part of it is my dreams. Since I’ve been here, I’ve had the most vivid dreams of things that have happened and things that never happened. But, they all come back to Highland Home and Auburn, Ala. Those places. It’s a bit freaky how vivid my dreams have been. (Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading Stephen King’s Dark Tower series.)
So, about South Korea—I’m living the dream. Sometimes, I have to sit back and tell myself, “I’m living in a foreign country.” I’m living the freakin’ dream. “L-I-V-I-N.” I have to reflect on that thought for a few moments.
And guess what? I love teaching. It’s quite possible that I’ve found my calling (other than writing the great Southern American novel, of course).
I love the culture here. People are generally a lot nicer than Americans. Emphasis on a lot. I will start taking Korean language classes this Friday. So, wish me luck. Also, I’m flying to Japan next Tuesday and Wednesday to get my work visa, which is very cool. After that, I’ll have the USA, Mexico, South Korea, and Japan crossed off on my “countries visited” list. (Okay, so the USA doesn’t really count.)
As a side note: one of the reasons I haven’t blogged as much is because of electrical problems. My plug converter doesn’t work well with my computer. So, I have to charge up my computer battery, then get on the computer, which gives me a limited amount of time. I use most of that time to keep in contact with others through e-mail, messenger, MySpace, and Facebook. I hope to find an adapter soon, so that I can keep my computer powered all the time.
Maybe I’ll upload some pictures soon. Until then, have a good night or morning or afternoon—wherever you are.
Hey I miss you very very much. I hope you are having a blast! I am in OK but I just passed by the starbucks and decided to kind of say hey to you. I was thinkin of you and missed you. I love you.
I miss you and love you very much. I hope your having a blast in Korea!!!!! I am having fun in OK but I miss you, which doesn’t count because you are not at home anyway. I love you big brother! love always- amy
I’m glad you stopped by Amy. I am having a blast. I hope Oklahoma is more than just “fun.” I hope it’s an adventure of a lifetime.
I hope you got my message from Ayn Rand:
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamp of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.”
It’s very important that you keep this with you throughout your life.
Justin,
I miss you so much. Don’t be homesick!! I’ve been in OK for only a week but the last thing I am, honestly, is homesick. I love it here. I can’t wait to just move from atlanta and turn the page in my life. by the way, are you still gonna love me if I divorce your best friend? love you
Mississippi State Edges Auburn 19-14 …..
I don’t know if you are keeping up with AU this year so I wanted to inform you that we are not doing so well. It’s borderline embarrassing given our last 6 years of excellence. If I know you, I’m sure that you are aware of this, but I did read your blog about limited battery power for your computer so I thought your priorities might not have included college football. Anyway, write me back man… I’ll talk to you again soon. Hope you are having fun.. (sorry, in a rush today…)
Danny, sorry I haven’t e-mailed you yet (limited battery and all). I haven’t really been keeping up with football, but Daddy’s been telling me a little about what’s going on. It’s sad that we lost to Miss. State. As long as we beat Alabama, I don’t care how many games we lose.
That miss st. game was a good one.
Hello! You don’t know me, and this comment will really sound like it’s coming out of left field, but I randomly found this particular entry and wanted to let you know how much I can relate. I find myself missing home and family constantly. Some days it affects me much more strongly than others, but I know exactly what you mean by never being able to go home again. As much as I want to, that place in time just doesn’t exist anymore. Returning to the site where all of the wonderful memories took place in the past doesn’t really help, either, does it…I tried that once and found out the hard way, so the words you’ve written in this entry really ring true.
I notice too that this entry was written in 2007. I wonder how you’re doing with the homesickness now, and the Korean language learning. I hope you’ve been getting along well after all this time! ^_^ Thanks for sharing your thoughts! A random stranger has most definitely felt comforted by them.
[...] Part of me feels like I need to return. I feel like I’m out of touch with my roots, and that hinders my writing. I don’t know if I’ll find what I’m searching for there. There’s probably no great mystery of the soul that I’ll unravel. I understand that one can never go home again. [...]
I’m a stranger just passing through. But I’d like to leave my thoughts. When I finished college the Air Force sent me to Japan and Korea. It then went in my ‘file’ that I had experience in the Far East. So….. I was sent to the Defense Language Institute for Korean and sent back. Then to Japan again and a Japanese Language school. I married a Korean from Japan. Upon returning to my home town in West Virginia I found myself an alien who had missed over a decade of daily changes. Friends were gone, the few remaining felt ackward around me, their new wives did not like my wife, and she loathed the bumpkins of my home town. Visits and assignments became rarer and finally non-existant. Friends from ‘home’ are all gone now, many are dead and family is dead. There is no reason to go back. The town lost industry and died in the rust belt economy. But still, the town of old, the home of old remains vivid in my memory and I think of it a lot. I miss it. But…….I can never go home again……. it no longer exists in reality. Such is the case for all of us. You can only be part of home if you never leave home. But then you miss the adventure of life. It’s a trade-off. A cruel trade-off.
I know exactly what you mean. The home that you remember and cherish exists only in your memories now. Thanks for putting it in words Justin.